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Doubtless, it goes without saying that I have never given my personal hygiene more thought than I have over the past few days. I can thank all the drama caused by the charming Kathie Lee and Hoda's response to the fact that I have chosen to not wash my hair with shampoo for the past five years.
(Honestly, I think I have thought more about my hair over the past THREE DAYS than I have the REST OF MY LIFE. Just sayin'....)
I have many, many words I could say about this whole thing which I have been gradually articulating to myself as I slow down and try to figure out what exactly just happened and WHY(?!) The first thing that comes to mind is that I feel very, VERY loved by the community that surrounds me, both at home, and online. I feel truly blessed.
It makes me sad to read and hear the response of people who are not a part of this community. Obviously, it's about so much more than hair. Those of us who are opting out of our current consumer culture (in one way or another) are striving, above all, to make educated choices for our bodies, our homes, our children, and yes... our hair.
(Maybe that looks like "not washing your hair" like I do, maybe it looks like making your own shampoo, or maybe it looks like buying something else..... That's really not the point, people.)
I am still very unclear why a post I wrote over two years ago was picked up by the Huffington Post and made it to the Today show. But it did. And those who don't understand, have enjoyed calling me everything from "lazy", "gross", "disgusting", "smelly", and a host of other names I'll just leave out. Ah, the lovely internet. Anonymity brings out the best in humanity. *not*
I was particularly struck by people's assumption that I must smell horrible because I "don't wash my hair." It struck me that, to them I probably do smell awful. I don't smell like a bottle of chemicals. I smell like myself. (...And sometimes lavender essential oil. Or coconut oil....)
And after years of not using those chemicals on myself, my family, and around my house, I cannot stand them. My nose reacts violently when I am stuck on an airplane with a woman who has perfume. I feel lightheaded and dizzy if I even walk past a hair salon. Let alone a nail salon. (Just shoot me, please.) All my nerve endings send violent signals to my brain that I must vacate the premises as soon as possible. So I do.
My hair smells like it hasn't been washed. At least, according to one doctor who smelled it. Well, at least she said it "smells like it hasn't been washed... but it doesn't smell like it hasn't been washed in five years." (... Thank you...?) And, for her, she's right. Because "washed hair" means hair that smells like commercial shampoo. She's never known "clean hair" to smell like anything else.
Everyone knows that the nose adjusts to smells. I can smell things now that I never would have noticed five years ago. When I hold Athena close, I am smelling her, breathing her in, not a bottle of shampoo. When I hug my husband I smell HIM and not a tube of chemicals.
I realize that if I could step across the internet and let anyone who assumes I MUST REALLY STINK, smell me, I probably wouldn't like the smells I found on them, either. For now, we are a part of two different cultures. They live in one olfactory world, I live in another. Until they know and understand what we do and why, neither the twain shall mix.
Let's work hard so that day comes sooner rather than later. (Because I REALLY can't stand the smell of nail salons....)
As this whole saga was beginning a dear friend, RACHEL, sent me a letter that I (with permission granted) want to share with you. It captures something so beautiful:
"I keep thinking about all the things I missed out on BEFORE ditching the chemicals in my house and body. Here is a sampling:
The smell of my freshly washed Babies - free of Johnson and Johnson.
The smell of my freshly washed man :)
The smell of my not so freshly washed man and babies - (people smell earthy and good when they are healthy.)
The smell of Cottonwood blooming in the spring.
Summer breezes.
And sun dried laundry.
I could think of more but just one of those things is enough to make me ditch the 'poo. :)"Now I have a question for those of you who's noses have adjusted, like Rachel's and like mine:
WHAT is that SMELL? What is that smell that you notice now, that you never would have noticed before?
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Well said. Personally I use shampoo. There are things we do and things we don't. I admire someone who has made the choice to forgo chems but I think the issue is more then that. I saw the show. Johnson and Johnson all over the page online. I think the issue more lies with us judging others because they are different or maybe because they were threatened by someone questioning what they had bought into. The fact that a mother and wife made choices to protect her and her family and is judged for it is sad. We all make sacrifices for our children...it should never be seen as revolting. I feel sorry for these women. I have hears the scandals Katie lee has been in personal and business wise. Its sad that her life is consumed by those and the public eye waiting for her screw up. I can see how she would bully. I think it is no different than why schoolyard bullies do it. I doesn't make it right. I hope she bucks up and makes right by it. As for me...up to trying the "no poo" we are all on our own journey!
ReplyDeleteI am happy to say that I don't have a television so I had to search for the segment that this post is referencing. As a naturally-minded person, I am annoyed by the way the topic was presented. For calling themselves a "news program" they certainly didn't put any research into the subject. It seems as if they're seeking to discredit our community but I can't see what purpose that would serve. Perhaps one of us should make a vlog in which we have strangers smell our unwashed hair and give their honest feedback, I wonder if NBC "news" would pick up that story. Anyway, I hope that this only works in your favor. With any luck, it will cause people to check out your blog and they will fall in love with your great writing, awesome parenting stories and delicious recipes.
ReplyDeleteI quit using shampoo many years ago as well (a herbal rinse does wonders for the hair!) and beauty products simply make my nose run so I avoid them like the plague. A non-toxic life is the one I desire, one in which you can smell all what is natural and fresh and full of life. Smell like a person, not like a brand!
ReplyDeleteThank you!!! I just loved how your friend put it. I've developed a sensitivity to all sorts of chemical smells during my first pregnancy. That made me start researching and ditch all the commercial cleaning detergents, personal hygiene products, make-up etc. I miscarried that time, though. But it was like a wake-up call for me. Ever since then I feel nauseated when just passing by perfume, laundry detergent isles, even while taking a walk in the neighborhood while people are doing laundry. I'm using coconut oil and essential oils. I do use a shampoo bar from Chagrin Valley Soaps and Craft for my hair - but they are all wonderfully organically handmade from oils and essential oils and what the nature has given us, and smell true to me :)
ReplyDeleteMy nose is sensitive to anything with chemicals in it. I love the smell of things that are natural. Its how it should be. I am behind you.
ReplyDeleteI'm quite happy to media is making such a fuss now. I wash my own hair still once a week (coming from every 2d day), but we have stopped washing our baby's hair since 5 months, and he is super clean and smells good. I don't use fabric softener anymore and now started disliking the smell. I am slowly taking more steps and making more changes to ban the chemicals out of our lives and feel happy about it. And it is good to read testimonies from others, so I can learn, compare, grow. Will now start reading the rest of your blog :-).
ReplyDeleteIn the past three months, I'd finally reached Water Nirvana of no 'poo. Finger-scrubbing several times a week and my hair looks great! Then, the Today Show happened. I got paranoid, super-duper-terrible paranoid. About stinky hair. From several month-long backpacking trips, I know the extent to which the human nose can adapt to ever-present smells (except for that one *really* sweaty guy wearing an unfortunately synthetic shirt).
ReplyDeleteTo make things more nerve-wracking, I was in the first couple months of dating my now-boyfriend. What if I stank?! Sure, he's a backpacking climber as well, but everyone *has* to have a limit, right? What if my friends at the rock wall were just too kind to say anything? After a frantic week of inquiries, I finally feel "back to normal" about my hair confidence. Mostly I've gotten "You don't really smell like anything...but in a good way", unless I've just washed my face (coconut oil) in which case my sweetie loves how I smell.
Society expects us to conform to its norm. When we think outside of their box we're considered a rebel.
ReplyDeleteThe rebellion has begun....
Proceed ;-)
I recently bought my mom some lotion for her car because she lotioned her hands on the way to somewhere and it was SO STRONG smelling every time!!! It made me nauseous, she could barely smell it and it burned my nose! I am using the no-poo method with my hair and she smelled it too and said the same type of thing, "Doesn't smell clean, smells just like hair." This was on the third day btw. Oh well, it is hard to accept the acceptance of people you love and the chemicals they love to put on themselves!
ReplyDeleteI think what you did by going on the show was courageous and enlightening to more people than you might realize. And the people who acted critical or were rude… may have planted a nugget in their mind of "Huh, I might try this at home…" but never ever admit it to anyone until 5 years later and by then they may have changed to homemade everything ;) You were a domino in today's society for the people that some of us might not even bother to discuss our homemade methods. They are $o far from under$tanding that big bu$iness doesn't have con$umer's health in their be$t intere$t. Good job, I'm very glad you did what you did.
We make our own lye soap without fragrance! I love the fact that when I am close to my husband, I smell him....just him! After discovering some new uses for coconut oil, besides frying eggs, I am happy to say that now when I am frying eggs, I suddenly feel very amorous! Hope that isn't TMI!
ReplyDeleteYou make me wanna "ditch the poo" I'm kinda jealous and feel left out that I haven't smelled the real stuff of life as you explain it here.
ReplyDeleteI love this post. There is a difference between smelling clean, smelling scented, and smelling bad. You can smell scented and bad at the same time, but not clean and bad.
ReplyDeleteI actually switched to washing my hair with baking soda and apple cider vinegar while I was pregnant, because my already strong sense of smell got even more sensitive, and I couldn't stand anything scented. I figured the lack of extra chemicals would probably be good for me and baby, too, but really, I did it for the smell. It worked for my hair type, so I kept doing it after I had my son. And, when I do want a treat and use a scented soap, I don't have to worry about it clashing with my shampoo and knocking me out.
I might as well also add my voice to the chorus of people who have been around you in real life since you stopped using shampoo, and can say with confidence that you neither look nor smell bad. And I have been known to tell people I care about to take a shower or brush their teeth, so you can know that I'm not excessively tactful =)
I am so incredibly offended by what has happened to you. I have not personally taken the plunge to go totally shampoo free, but I do use only products with ingredients to can pronounce. I know full well you can use soaps and lotions for your body made of four ingredients. How dare anyone say you don't bathe! I think it is totally offensive that they used a photo of your stunning, happy, smiling baby without your permission. And by the way, in the image they showed of you, you look beautiful.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if your webpage photos can be considered copyrighted. Perhaps what they deserve is a fat lawsuit threat. That was slanderous. And you didn't deserve it.
DeleteI think they had permission to use her photos, but they got her permission under false pretenses. They are definitely guilty of being slanderous, though.
DeleteOh, I see. That's very unfair. They should have interviewed her and saw how for themselves how beautiful her hair is!
DeleteThis reminds me of my son's reaction to my laundry as it came out of the washer- I use homemade detergent and so my laundry smells like wet fabric and not chemicals... he swore something was wrong and the clothes were not clean. He also told me I need to get a water filter since our water "tastes funny" ... the irony of all this is that he lives in the city and I live in the country and have well water... wet fabric has a wet fabric smell, well water tastes like the natural filtration system is came through, clean hair smell like hair and scalp... No sorry they don't smell like an ocean breeze or spring meadows...
ReplyDeleteThe other day I was in a cafe and they were washing the floor with some chemical floor cleaner (20 feet away!) and I had to leave. It totally destroyed my appetite.
ReplyDeleteI haven't ditched the 'poo just yet, but I never even would have considered it if not for the explosive way this topic came to my attention. I got to thinking about my hair, too, and you know what? I love my two-or-three-days-since-the-last-wash hair. And I mean smell and looks. After that, yes, my hair does get to smelling a bit funky--but that's probably because it's trying to begin that detox period that Jacqueline talked about in her original no-'poo post. Then I screw things up and shampoo it again. I do use the so-called natural shampoos and soaps, so although my nose hasn't quite adjusted in the same way that Jacqueline's and Rachel's have, I do think I've grown accustomed to a set of smells that differs a lot from what I'd be used to if I was using something like Pantene or Dove. So I'm still going to answer the question (and thank you for posing it, by the way!).
ReplyDeleteI love the smell of my newborn. She has had sponge baths with only water so far since her skin is still so sensitive. She smells like what I think a baby should smell like, not like soap :) I love the smell of my husband in between showers. I can tell that he takes care of himself and his diet by his smell. I can't say the same for his brother, who drinks lots of liquor, smokes, and frequents the buffet at Chicken Bonz. And you can tell by his smell that I'm not lying. I love the smell of the raspberries on the breeze at Hey Bayles Farm. I love the smell of black garden soil. Instead of an air freshener hanging from the rearview mirror in my car, I enjoy the scent of the lavender bouquet that hangs in its place. I'm sure I'll think of more, and I'll have more little things to smile about thanks to Jacqueline :)
I also am so sensitive to perfumes and fragrances, I even get migraines if I am around too much. I ditched all of that junk about 8 years ago and I love using apple cider vinegar in my hair. I LOVE the smell of my baby and husband - both their natural scent and when they have bathed.
ReplyDeleteThank you for what you share here. You are appreciated.
In reading about the no 'poo movement this past week I've noticed that only two options are sometimes presented: 1) use chemical-laden shampoos or 2) go completely free of shampoo altogether. I'm with you all on the fear of toxic chemicals (I get a headache going down the cleaning supply aisle at stores like Safeway and I avoid products like that at all costs), but there are perfectly safe and useful shampoos out there. Just this week I bought a bar of Camamu shampoo (containing olive oil, coconut oil, castor oil, shea butter, and sweet almond, avocado, hemp seed, and apricot kernel oils) and it works beautifully. Humans have been doing things to clean their hair and make it smell nice for a very long time, so for those who don't wish to use the water-only method, shampooing with something like a Camamu shampoo bar once a week seems like a perfectly good alternative to over-shampooing with chemical-laden shampoos. (And here's a link to an interesting article on the history of shampoo if you're interested! http://www.randomhistory.com/2008/07/19_shampoo.html)
ReplyDeletemy mind races with things to justify, defend and promote your "no hairwashing" because I started that too..which is what brought me to your sight a few weeks ago. You are smarter, more evolved and kinder to the everything around you, just by thinking before you squeeze more chemicals into the water and kill our oceans. If that make you gross, so be it. You know that you are not. Sticks and stones..... I've had a few weird looks and questions about my no-poo method and when they turn their nose up, I ask them, "what's in that shampoo you use?" and they are left speechless. Thinking about our actions and being conscientious is tough. But, the world is better place for it. Thanks for being crunchy, from this crunchy, educated, hard working, do-it-all-momma to another.
ReplyDeleteI have short hair, I train at the gym 5 days a week. I "wash" my hair with water every day and use hair product sometimes. My hairdresser knows this. He washes my hair once every 6 weeks when I go to get it cut. He says I don't smell and he would tell me, I've asked him to promise to! My partner doesn't complain it smells and again I asked her to tell me if it does, it's all personal preference. Same with shaving body hair, heavens forbid a woman have pubic hair or armpit hair!!
ReplyDeleteI don't actually know what to start with. I don't see you as a freak, neither I think you are gross or something like that. I found out about you last week, when romanian press was all shouting loud "Don't watch or read this, if you just ate. This woman didn't wash her hair for 5 years !" Yeah, I'm romanian, and the "news" that you haven't use shampoo for the past 5 years finally reached Romania. But hey, I'm happy for that, cause this way, I found out about you and your blog. First thought was to visit you blog and I think you are a wonderful person. I'm glad you've been so brave to quit using chemicals. I know why you took that decission and I quite understand you. No, I didn't quit using shampoo, but I had to quit using deodorants/antiperspirants. Using them for so many years, made me have pains on my armpit, and..a big part on my armpit is now white. Yeah..it's all white, like I just bleached it and, my hair doesn't even grow there anymore. So, I quit using chemicals and I found out that there are other ways to stay fresh and not stink for 24 h, other than tons of chemicals. Anyways, take care of you, be strong and..let them speak. I know they people are rude, but after all, there are so many people that supports you..all over the world :)
ReplyDeleteI learned about your blog thanks to redandhoney.com as I also do not watch that certain t.v. program. I am now following you here on blogspot and would like to thank you for all you write about. Bet your bottom dollar that because they "poo poo'd" you on national television, many people will be looking you up and learning why we're over chemicalized in our modern society.
ReplyDeleteSo, kudos! Keep being awesome!
xoxoxo,
Amanda
I tend to stay away from commercial shampoos. Chemicals are over powering. Keep up the good work Jacquelyn.
ReplyDeleteI have NEVER liked Kathy Lee. She's cocky and horribly condescending. New Follower here- Rock On!
ReplyDeleteYou are brave and kind. You win. :D
ReplyDeleteWe stopped with artificial beauty products YEARS ago. The kids allergist told us to. Now, we're the same as you, just cannot stand the smell of 'fragrance'. My daughter is a cosmetologist and works in an organic salon (fully organic, dyes, nails, poos) and they are getting quite the clientele, so, the word is getting out. Keep saying it.
And honestly, there is nothing better than the smell of my husband's and children's skin.
Loved this. Well thought out & well written. :)
ReplyDeleteThe response of the Today Show host's is totally ridiculous - especially in the increasing tide of the Curly Girl movement. I seldom use shampoo myself. My daughter hasn't used shampoo in over 7 years. You don't "smell" me coming when I'm "dressed" either. Sorry, I don't buy into the consumer mentality that the talk show hosts peddle. They are cheap & materialistic. All around. Stick to your guns & live your own life. Karma will visit them.
ReplyDeleteYou know what they say about negative publicity, though: all publicity is good publicity. I found out about your post like a lot of others - because of the drama - and like a lot of others (not all, but a lot), I was immediately excited to read about the possibility of not using shampoo at all, rather than disgusted by it. But I wouldn't have heard if people hadn't made such a big deal, so I say, "Good for you!" Your blog post did exactly what it was supposed to do: inform more people that there are people who do things differently - and maybe even BETTER! ;) Chin up!
ReplyDeleteI ditched shampoo a while ago (dr. bronner's for me), but thanks to you I have tried the water washing method for the past week and it's definitely a success! I've checked in with friends and family everyday and no one can tell the difference and my hair isn't greasy or limp (which is what shampoo used to do to it). I'm unabashed with my hippie ways and I love telling people your story! It has inspired me and I hope it will continue to inspire others, I'm definitely an advocate now. Thank you for dealing with intolerance to promote REAL health and beauty; it's not in vain!
ReplyDeleteAs for the smells that I've noticed, I'd have to say all of them! Good and bad, chemical and natural; I can actually smell (a new phenomenon). I never realized that my horrible sense of smell was directly related to the chemical smells I wore everyday. Now I even think that people who wear those chemical-based products smell horrible and I can't stand being around it for too long without getting a headache. I've never had a chemical sensitivity, but you would think I did now and I have no regrets.
Jacquelyn, I was astonished in the lack of manners the two displayed. It is understandable for someone unfamiliar with the no-poo regimen to question but they were rude and showed a real lack of taste especially in the politically correct world of "toleration"! We have not watched TV for years but I found out about the whole thing through redandhoney - I am sorry you have had to go through this and I admire your response - keep it up!
ReplyDeleteI've slowly been working on eliminating the chemicals in my household and life in general. It started in a rather unintentional way, when I was pregnant with my son a few years back. I could not stand the smell of perfumes, colognes, air fresheners, etc. My heightened sense of smell during that time made me gag at anything that smelled too strong. I thought it would go away after giving birth, but it didn't. My son is two now and I have not worn perfume since early in my pregnancy. So many hair products and shampoos have been thrown out and replaced with milder, more natural options because I just couldn't stand the smell. Amazing how our bodies work. Not sure if I'll ever be brave enough to go completely shampoo free, but I suppose baby steps are something!
ReplyDeleteSomething good came out of the "no poo" dust up; I found your blog. I was diagnosed with chemical sensitivity many years ago, and very little information was out there for the general public, and I suffered for years, and still do however, the internet has provided me with a wealth of information and recipes. I dyi my products and I also have used the water only method in between homemade shampoos, & Braggs apple cider vinegar with honey rinse is used every time.. I do not stink unless you think essential oils stink that is. Those that laugh obviously are not well informed about what they are putting in and on their bodies.
ReplyDeleteThis has nothing to do with the TV segment, but it is a true story that I would like to share. I know it's true because my mother told me so years later. This story stretches back to the mid 1970's, where a new shampoo rage had just hit the marketplace. The shampoo was called 'Herbal Essence." Do you remember it? Are you old enough to remember it? My older brother and sister, who were in high school at the time, not only *requested* my mother buy the stuff but outright DEMANDED that she buy it. This wasn't easy for a single mother of four children in the mid 1970's. Mother didn't make very much money. We didn't get any child support. And to pay $4 for small bottle of shampoo in 1970 dollars was asking a bit much from our mother. But she tried to do her best. And she did. That little green bottle of Herbal Essence was kept well stocked in a poor household.
ReplyDeleteNow, flash forward to the late 1980's. The kids are all gone. The youngest of the crew, myself, still comes home on some weekends to take care of chores. Mother decides to clean out the garage after not touching anything in there since the 1970's. I hear her yell out, from inside the house. Inside she marches with a five gallon bottle of the cheapest shampoo to ever be sold in a store. It was an old bottle -- nearly empty at that -- and covered with dust as if it hadn't been touched in years. Mother asked: "Do you remember when your brother and sister demanded I buy Herbal Essence for them?" I nodded yes. Even though it was long ago, I do remember the fits they staged for Herbal Essence. "Well, I just couldn't afford to keep buying the stuff," mother continued. "So one day I found this five gallon bottle of green shampoo for two bucks at K-Mart and bought it. Whenever the bottle of Herbal Essence ran low, I just refilled it with this cheap stuff. They never knew the difference."
You know what? They never did. I didn't either. And I washed with Herbal Essence up until the day I left home at age 18 to attend college. Tell that one to Kathie Lee and Hoda. They still won't understand, but they might find it to be an entertaining story.
Jacquelyn - just a quick note. Congrats to you for caring for you and your family in wanting to have a long, beautiful and healthy life! I am proud of you as a fellow human being! Namaste'!
ReplyDeleteLet me just say, everything those women had to say, was aggravating. At least do your research, people!!
ReplyDeleteI am new to this "no poo" thing, 5 days in to be exact, and I am super excited about it:) I eat a plant-based diet ("The China Study" had a lot to do with my decision to change my diet), but it is far more than just what you put IN your body. There is still so much for me to eliminate from my life to really feel good about getting away from chemicals and other harmful substances. It is unfortunate how many people choose to ignore these facts, because of vanity and ignorance.
I like what you're doing! I look forward to reading more of your blogs :)
I have been researching how to eliminate shampoo and found your blog. I was very excited to read you don't even do the 'no poo' acv, and I'm on week 2 of nothing but h2o! You are an inspiration and a beautiful person. If the worst people say about you is that you stink, Praise God!
ReplyDeleteI came across the segment on the Today Show while I was looking up info on "no poo" methods. I recently covered a similar topic on my own blog.
ReplyDeleteI am not surprised by Kathie Lee's reaction. I think that it may have been ignorance but also they are slaves to advertisers on shows like that. Most advertisers are chemical companies in one form or another. So, they are not going to do anything to suggest that a method that avoids harsh chemicals might actually be good for you.
I think the cruel reactions of other people since the clip aired are because they don't want to question their lifestyles. Who wants to believe that products they have been using for many years might not be good for them? It's far easier to put you down than to contemplate they might be wrong.
I think the photo of you and your baby is beautiful! You look clean and healthy. I think as more people start to believe they are good enough as they are that we will be less likely to feel compelled to damage ourselves with chemicals and cover ourselves up with over-processed hair, wigs and extensions like so many tv personalities do.